As my weekend comes to an end, I’m faced with going back to work tomorrow. As we all are. Every week. I don’t think any amount of medication can take away the fact that I don’t want to go. That 3 am wake up call. Leaving my sleeping babies that have the most angelic little faces.
We went on a beautiful walk this morning before taking my oldest to preschool. The air was cold, but the sun was warm. Watching my little ones run down the path while holding my husband’s hand. I want to do it every day. Shut out the rest of the world and wrap myself up with making memories. Every time I look at my youngest, she is ever-changing and growing so fast. She is using more words every day. Talking non stop. Her personality growing. My danger child. My crazy girl. Little miss strong thing.
My oldest is getting sassier and more confident. Smarter and more wicked. Testing her me and her dad. One day they will be bigger and not want anything to do with me. Can’t blame me for wanting to soak up every minute I can with them. Hold little hands while they’re still little. Take all the cuddles I can while they still fit on my lap.
I know this is rambling. I just get sad every day I wake up and have to leave for work. Like I said, I guess I have to be happy with having the extra time off with them. I just want to go on so many adventures with them. I want to see so many things with them. Explore. I want them to see all the things I haven’t gotten to. I didn’t go on my first airplane till I was 17 years old.
Today Jon and I started talking about a road trip next year to Oregon and maybe Idaho. That breathed some new life into me. It makes me so happy to plan something like that. Solid family adventure. So for now that will be the thing I focus on. Not the upcoming medical bills. Or the cut in pay. At least road trips are cheaper than plane tickets.
Bottom line is, I don’t like dealing with anyone that isn’t my family. If I could hang our with them every day I would be happy. I don’t get sick of them. I get sick of the outside world. The monotony of the daily grind.
Till next time.
The Prozac Parent 