It’s been almost a month since staring Prozac. Just a few days ago my doctor increased my dose and still recommend I take the Hydroxyzine especially on higher stress days.
Today I knew it was going to be rough at work. Too many new people, too many orders, not enough help. I didn’t expect to get humiliated in front of customers. Or have management on me for things that I am trying to fix, but have been unsuccessful at.
Today was the first day I felt it. The fast heart rate. The tears. The emotions that I couldn’t control. I felt defeated. I know I will have bad days. They are bound to happen. I guess I got spoiled this past month not having to deal with it.
I felt so small today. I did not feel like a boss. I felt like a kid again. Unsure of myself and trying to make it through. I cried a lot today. A LOT. I got home and I lost it. I called my mom and cried some more. I am a tired mom. I am a tired employee. A dog chasing it’s tail.
I get yelled at. I come home and make dinner and clean up someone else’s poop. I go to work and clean up other people’s messes. Every glimmer of niceness from your average person gives me hope. Till I see someone else do something shitty.
It was a rough one today. After all those tears I did take one of the low dose hydroxyzine tablets. And you know what? It helped.
I wish more people in this world were kinder. More understanding. Not as quick to anger. Not so ready to bite each other over any little thing. Everyone takes small things so serious that when something serious does happen, you feel unsure of its severity.
I will be so glad to see my weekend. I don’t want to people anymore. I don’t want one more person to complain to me about work issues. I want people to do their jobs and leave me alone.
I will continue to try and get better. One day will not define how I feel about this journey. I hope I wake up tomorrow more positive. Without a headache. Ready to go. We will see.
Till next time
The Prozac Parent 